Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Now What!

Loss. Another loss.
 It's just a building,  but it was my property.  It is a large old building full of items I've collected from clean-outs,  some good old stuff to sell seriously, and regular household items for rummage sales.   It was 6000 ft. of valuable storage for the antiques, vintage and repurpose junque.   I also kept my painting and cleaning supplies,  tools and equipment for my Selective Residential Services business there. It was also an office and a big workshop. I had big hopes of restoring the building, making a studio there, but I never made enough money to make the improvements.  I thought of converting it into an apartment, but didn't have the funds, nor did I feel safe there.
 I could barely hold onto the warehouse, as they kept increasing the taxes.
 Severe weather has been beating up the old turn-of-the century structure-  lots of water damage, wind damage, roof leaks. The pigeons tore off the soffits,  Drunks are sleeping on the property, and  there's drug activity.
 It's not safe to go there alone, so I couldn't go there to work unless I had someone with me.
I've been fighting vandalism and graffiti, vagrants, and even a few  burglaries in the past.
 So, I finally lost my warehouse.  I knew it was going to happen, but I couldn't stop it.
When the city raised my taxes, I was battling breast cancer, and  my earnings dropped, so I fell behind. Someone bought the tax lien, and he eventually ended up with my building.
 I  took my lawyer's advice and let it go.  The process took about a year and a half.
In fact, it's not quite over yet.
  I guess I have to look at it  like this:  I had this huge building for over 20 years,
 and  now it's time to move on.
 I am  getting too old to handle this problem building anymore.

     What else can happen to me?  I better not ask. I don't usually think like this,
 in such negative terms, but it seems like I have had a lot happen to me lately.
 I prayed for a way to save the building, but it didn't happen, and I am losing it,
but I must trust in God because He knows what is best for me.

Here's a great song, amazing singer, singing exactly what I needed to hear.
Lauren Daigle's Trust In You
  "Letting go of  every single dream.
 I lay each one down at your feet."
  "My hand's are weary,  I need your rest."
 I feel like I called out and my prayers weren't answered,
as Lauren's song says,  He didn't "move the mountains, I needed Him to move, He didn't part the waters I wish I could walk through" I felt really bad, as I was going through the horrendous process of moving my belongings, but I decided I will trust in Him!
 As I am saying goodbye to the historical building I could never restore.
 I had hoped to own and work out of it, for the rest of my life,  but I know that it will be okay.
 So I'm picking up the pieces starting over.  Again.
 I am recovering from the trauma, realizing that it didn't kill me.
"There's always someone who is worse off"
 "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
 "Well, God has something better for you"
"When one door closes,.... another door opens"
and my favorite"You'll be better off  without it"
This is what people were saying.  It was little comfort,
 but I am finding my help in time of need, from the true Comforter, .
 I am not okay, but I found that I can trust in God and everything will be okay, I just can't go it alone.
Citizen Way

I can come to God, just as I am, hurt,  troubled,
 lost, tired, and defeated and He makes it all okay.
Listen to this song, by Citizen Way, , you can just skip the ad
  "Everything's not fine...
    And I'm not okay....
    But it's nice to know,
   I  can come this way!"

I am counting on second chances, new beginnings.
 I am salvaging what I can, trying to pick out the best stuff.
 Tried to liquidate some stuff and raise some cash for the storage.
I have to rent a new place now. But my yard sales were disastrous,
 because it rained almost all month in May.
 "Pickers"  came in the warehouse, because it was raining,
 They threw my belongings all around and only wanted to pay
 me pennies on the dollar for the prices I asked.  What a mess!
Physically exhausting and emotionally draining.
  I did donate tons of clothing, and told  a couple friends
to come take whatever they could use.
  Then  for weeks, we were moving and jamming stuff into a space that's not big enough.
 Right now it's hard to find anything.
But I have to dig in,  stock my new antiques booth and find the good items,
clean them up, put price tags on each item, Then transport them
and set them up in a booth that's too small and very expensive,
 and pray to God that someone starts buying something!
a scene from my booth at Carnival of Collectables
368 Cross Keys Road
Sicklerville, N.J.  

 But I am finding peace in  the chaos.
  I am thankful that I have had extra time to get in my building, and salvage my belongings.
 I am grateful to my sister, who helped me tremendously sorting, packing, and moving.
I am so thankful  for  my friend Connie,  for lending me her truck and taking a few loads away.
I praise God for giving me strength.

Wonderful things happened too, that brought hope.

     A woman came to my windy yardsale and thrust some bills into my hand.  She said she was a high school friend of my daughter's, and she heard I was in trouble, and God told her to do this. She gave me $25.00, and wouldn't take anything in return.  My sister and I hugged her.  I will never forget this kind gesture.

    I got a phone call, in the middle of a yardsale.  A fellow asked if I could clean out his mother's house, as she was no longer there and they needed to put it up for sale.  I didn't say no, even though I didn't know where I was going to put the stuff from another house.  I smiled to myself, thinking "I am already back in business!"
    It turned into a nice job, for which I am being well paid, and getting some lovely vintage treasures for my shop!  (Door closes--- another door opens!)

    During this debacle, I unearthed many long-lost  things at the warehouse. One surprise was a nice enamel top table, which I took to the antiques booth and it sold quickly!  My first substantial sale!  Just in time to pay the  booth rent!

    I'll be able to stock my booth at the antiques mall more easily, now that my belongings are moved to a new location, just a couple miles from my home.

    I've been spending lots of time with the grandkids, enjoying special end of year school programs, a dance recital,  and playing outdoors with them. Taking care of the children is very healing for me.
 I am happy each day, despite the stressful, horrible feeling of losing my property, and the inconvenient, enormous job of relocating.
They make me smile!

 Life is still good, even when you face disappointments and hardships, God sends the right people, at the right time,  the little surprises, and everything that you need!  I will  trust in Him!

Love, Linda