Friday, September 4, 2015

My Son Went To Heaven !

 It is one month today, since I lost my son.
 It is not quite real to me.
It happened. My worst fear, that one day I'd get this call.
The call no mother should ever have to get,  that your child, your son is dead.
My son died from a heroin overdose.
 I still don't know what really happened.

 I will never know the truth, probably.  It doesn't matter.
 It's just such a sad, senseless thing.
 "My dad died, Grandma ", my 17 year old granddaughter screamed into the phone.
Four times.  I just said, "No.......!
 I couldn't believe what I was hearing.    I still can't believe it.
 But an hour later at the hospital ER,  as I stood over his body,
I knew he really was gone, knew his suffering was over,
and knew that he was with Jesus.
 In perfect peace and feeling God's love surround him!
 And I have had to keep that picture in my mind,
 that picture of gentle Jesus, holding a man, welcoming him into heaven.
And oh, what peace that image has given me.
I am so very grateful for this reassurance.

This one thought, this promise, this belief---It's all I can do, all I need, all I want.
 It's over, this troubled earthly life, and all his struggles and hurts.
 But also no more chances, his wishes didn't come true, all his plans are changed. 
My heart aches, it just is so terrible.  I wish I had more time with him.
I will miss him so much, his phone calls, our long talks.
 His tender concern for me.
 But he has a better life now, carefree, he's free of mental anguish.
In time I will be able to speak about it, more intelligently.
 Maybe share links that will help others.
For right now, I can't do more than keep up with each day's chores,
focus on the grandbabies who bring me such delight.
Do my jobs. Go on, keep living life as fully as possible.
I'm confused, but not alone. A little lost. but I'll find my way.

Cape May, New Jersey

I am being lifted up,  I am in good hands, my girls are sticking close.
Friends and family are loving me,  spoiling me!
Even treating me to very nice outings.
My daughters and I went to see a funny movie.
Then, my little sister took me to a Tim McGraw concert!
Liked his encore song!  "Live like you were dying..." It touched me.
 I have been "down the shore"  for a few days,
met God at sunrise on the beach each morning while there.
Daily- " I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses.....".
I am taking care of myself,  being extra careful.  Have to concentrate harder.
Slowed down, being cautious, but keeping very busy.
Everything seems more intense, like even simple things have some
deep special meaning to me.  I am changed.
Acutely aware, extra sensitive,  I am deeply grateful, pensive.
 I am confident, God is caring for me, He will never leave me alone
and I am going to be fine.

his prayer card
his obituary can be found at
My precious little boy, age 4

High school graduation photo

USNavy picture  1993

I'll see him again,on the other side. 
"I'll See You Again" My song for Gary

 Love, Linda


Jeannie Marie said...

I am so sorry for this great loss that you bear.

Linda Young said...

Thank you so much! The Lord is giving me strength and grace..

Cindy The Victorian Journey said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks for you and the family. I thank God for his care for you and your family.

Hugs and prayers

Little Birdie Blessings said...

Oh Linda, I'm so sorry. Thank you for being brave and sharing the manner in which he died. I'm sure it will help someone. Praying for your family. ~ Abby

CelestinaMarie@SouthernDayDreams said...

Dear Linda, My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry for the loss of your son. He is at peace in the arms of our Lord. I pray that you will find peace and comfort in the days ahead.
Blessings to you and Hugs of Friendship come your way.

Linda Young said...

Dear Linda, my heart breaks for you and your family...but I know that you are such a strong lady and your beliefs give you comfort to know that your son is in the most incredible place and yes, Jesus welcomed him home...and through the days and nights, your son will give you signs that he is watching over you and is now your guardian angel...our mortal lives can be so cruel but we know there is something much better waiting for us in eternity..sometimes people say "why does God let terrible things happen?" well, what I tell them is that look how Jesus suffered and died for all of us...we have to thank God for the good times, but even for the bad, rough times...God never said we wouldn't have a bumpy flight in life, but definitely will give us a smooth landing....May you have peace, love and joy in the coming days and months...take care and I am always thinking of you...Love, Linda Young