Monday, May 20, 2013

Overcoming Death

My children are hurting real bad now, they lost their hero, their beloved Granddad.

Our tears are only for ourselves!   For him we rejoice!
He has overcome death!
He's Home! 

My heartbroken grandson says goodbye.

I feel helpless, but I've learned  a few things about dealing with a loss,
and here is what I'm doing to get through the grieving process, and sharing with them.

    Surviving a Loss

Singing and listening to all the hymns of comfort the country ballads.
 You-tube and Playlist have many  appropriate country songs and hymns.
  • Be Not Afraid by Daniel O"Donnell
  • Lead Me Home by Jamey Johnson
  • Beulah Land by Allison Krauss, the Gaithers, or America's Bluegrass Band   
  • Softly and Tenderly by George Jones
  • Peace in the Valley by Tennessee Ernie Ford
  • Going Home by Clyde Clark,   or Ricky Skaggs
  • When I get to Where I'm Going by Brad Paisley
  • Amazing Grace by Chris Tomlin

Talking about his great life experiences and family memories, funny stories,
     Write down some stories, find old letters, record people's comments, stories.
    (I blog about it!)  Look at videos and home movies, photo albums. mementos, gifts he gave you.
   Set up a shrine, if you need to, with his photo, the funeral program, anything that reminds you of him.

Letting the tears and sad feelings come.
  Cry, cry some more, it's okay, I tell my kids.  You have to let yourself have those sad feelings, experience the grief, it's part of the process. Then when you think you're done  with the tears, they may come back , but still let them fall.  It may take a long time before the pain stops.

Then celebrate him, his life, his accomplishments, his faith,
 his legacy of love for family, his country and God.

Let others in!
 Don't try to handle it alone, you need others now, and it's wrong to shut them out.  Don't worry about what to say to them, or if they say the wrong things, don't get mad..

Let go, let God.   Ask God to help you.  Sometimes when we are vulnerable like this,  is when we truly realize our need for the Lord in our lives.  He will give you  wisdom, strength and comfort.

Remember, The Great Healer is only a prayer away!

Mae and Walter, married for 67 years!
These were my in-laws, love in action.  What an example!

This is the oldest and the youngest members of our family.
My  precious grandson, Tommy had  a recent visit with his great-grandfather.

Military honors
 Walter was a WWII Veteran, served  in the U.S. Navy
as a Naval Flight Instructor

A quiet moment  with my granddaughter, at the funeral reception after.
It's important to be a good example to the kids, and give a little extra TLC.
I wanted to reassure her that  because of his long life and great faith,
Granddad was really ready to meet his maker, and now he is in Heaven. 
 I told her that our love will always live on and that
he will always be with us, because of the love we shared. 
A.A. Milne's poem says it best.

"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together...
there is something you must always remember.
 You are braver than you believe,
 stronger than you seem,
 and smarter than you think. 
 But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...
I'll always be with you."
A.A. Milne

This thoughtful conversation between Pooh and Christopher Robin,
 came to my mind, and I find it comforting. 
 I first heard it recited at another sad funeral service, for my grandson's older brother.  

  Your friends can be a wonderful source of comfort when you are hurting so bad.
  Let your friends and family in, they want to help you.

Do you feel as though you don't quite know
 what to say?
 Here are some thoughtful expressions I found in a magazine article.

Good Grief
When someone you know loses a loved 
one, it's hard to know what to say. Try
these tips from David Kessler, Co author of
On Grief and Grieving     (Scribner)

I am so sorry for your loss.

  I  wish I had the right words ---
just know that I care.

I don't know how you feel, but
I'm here for you.

You and your loved one will be in my thoughts.

My favorite memory of 
your loved one is........

May the peace of God be with you!

Love, Linda


Celestina Marie said...

Dearest Linda, I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you and yours in my prayers for healing and comfort in the days ahead.
Yes, the words, Let Go, Let God are so very true and will guide you to a stronger place. Your children are very blessed to have you for your wisdom and grace in this time of heartbreak. There never are any words that truly help, but please knowing prayers are being said for you as God welcomes your loved one home.
Blessings to you dear one,
Celestina Marie

Kathryn Ross said...

Beautiful post, Linda - and again I am so sorry for your loss. It is our peace to know that when our loved one knows Jesus, all is well for all eternity and we have a firm hope in our reunion one day. I hope you can make it to my play - you will be so blessed! Tune in with the link if you can't be there in person. Blessings to you - and, yes - wish you could make it for Founder's Day, too - want to put together a history exhibit on a topic, and possibly sell some vintage items next year?
Hugs - Kathy

Celestina Marie said...

Hi Linda, thank you for stopping by and your kind visits. Your comments are always uplifting and a blessing to me.
Wishing you a peaceful Memorial Day.
Hugs, Celestina Marie

Dolly Sarrio said...

I am so very sorry. You and the family will be in my prayers.